Monday, July 27, 2009


Every once in awhile it seems that I can't be the sing-song happy I try to be...I say try because, let's face it, it's tough to always be positive! But I'm trying and I think that's what's most important.

But today I'm frustrated. And maybe frustrated isn't the right word, but it's what first popped into my mind and I'm sticking with it.

When I'm in this mood, everything that could be good is not. Every situation is tinged with sadness or anger or simply emotionally charged. And that's what I'm working with: being emotionally charged. The tiniest things are getting under my skin, grating on me slowly like sandpaper, rubbing back and forth and back and forth, making my feelings more raw. And then SNAP.

Of course, my husband gets the brunt of everything. He's here by my side 14-24 hours each day, also dealing with situations as they come and go, seemingly unscathed by this or that and putting up with my crap. But when it comes down to it, he's not unscathed, just coping better with the way he's tossed and pulled in every direction by the world, by me.

So what am I specifically frustrated with? Well, this for one. I went to the dr. and got a prescription of progesterone and now I'm having major issues and it's been just under 8 weeks. {YES! you read that right. I've been having to deal with Aunt Flo for 51 straight days now...ick!} If the progesterone doesn't work in the next week I'm going to have to go back to the dr., and without insurance it could be really expensive.

Also, my house. I'm a terrible housekeeper. Absolutely wretched, to be honest. I love a clean house and a clean everything, but getting it to that point? Well, I'd rather eat dirt. Okay, maybe not, but you get the picture.

To round out this rant of frustration and to prove that not all my blog posts are 'rosy' and 'nice' {even though I try to be... I really do!}, I feel terrible that I skipped church yesterday. This was also due to the above issue. Sigh...

I guess the silver lining is that I can apply for COBRA insurance ($240/mo for just me - before my insurance was $75/mo for both of us!) and go see the dr. again. I'm tempted to go back on birth control, but with the whole TTC issue, not the most appealing option.

Alright, back to regularly chipper postings soon. Love you all.


Evie B. said...

Hang in there Chels! Lots of love coming your way from Utah. *mwah*

disillusioned said...

I know without insurance this will suck....

But if you're able to, ask for an ultra sound.

I had the exact same problem last year...and it all boiled down to uterine polyps. I knew I had them once I read about them on-line. But, it took a good 4 months to get them diagnosed.

And surgery (minimal outpatient) to fix the problem. And now I'm on birth control to avoid having them grow back (hopefully).

I bled for months. Such a royal pain....seriously!!! Oh, and even with double birth control.

So I TOTALLY understand....and this isn't great information without insurance. But, if that's what it is....they're pretty unserious compared to other things.

Hope that helps at some point. Gee...I'm sure the whole Internet world so wants to know about my "history". But, oh well!

Mary P.

P.S. Sometime ask me what I called it all.

Shanna said...

H?Ang in there I'm so sorry to hear about your frustrations, I was on that crap & boy does it mess w- you If you need any thing let me know

Micah and Melinda said...

Ah sweets I love you and I am so sorry that life sucks right now! If there is anything at all I can do, you hit me up! However if you decide to by a large gun and headed to the post office give me a heads up so I can stay home!

Lori said...

I'm Heidi's Sister, Lori - we should talk! I've had a lot of medical issues in this area and am finally feeling better. I'd also like to talk to you about a completely other topic - crafting, which you have a great eye for I've noticed as I've spied on your blog. In particular ideas for Super Saturday, which I need asap!!! Email me! georges"at"sunflower"dot"com.

Becka Dietrich said...

Oh hon, I'm so sorry for you. I was about to type something like hang in there, or give some advice. But sometimes you just need to rant without someone telling you how to fix it. Let it out. Be frustrated. 51 days of being on the rag would make me a wench.
So be mad, but do something to change the circumstance, otherwise you'll be in a crabby rut. And no one likes a mrs. grumpy gills.

Anonymous said...

you know how they say bad things come in threes? they just say that so you don't freak out when everything bad happens at once.
i like to think bad things happen in tens and then when i get to seven and nothing else happens i feel relieved instead of bitter :)
what you need is to come with us to see a beatles cover band on friday night and get by with a little help from your friends!!!

Gingerlylizzy said...

I wish you were closer... I would come clean your house from top to bottom! The "Flo" thing sounds super frustrating. I had a two week one last time around and about went nuts! So sorry. I am sending you mental hugs xoxo