Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Picture Perfect

Back in September I received an email questionaire from Latter-Day Brides, an exclusive store with temple-modest gowns that also publishes an annual magazine with tips and resources for the LDS community.

I had a few minutes (okay, it took about 45 minutes) and answered their list of questions and emailed them a few wedding pics.

Anyway, in October I received an email saying I was chosen to be in the magazine and asked my photographer's contact info.

I got this magazine in the mail last week!

and almost on the back page I found this handsome couple:

So, yes, it will probably be torn out of the magazine and scrapbooked in a shadowbox frame with our announcement, my bouquet and some other mementos.

This past weekend was the Sundance Film Festival. I've worked the festival for the last 3 years now and each year seems colder and colder.

This year was for Function Drinks. This stuff is actually really good. I'm hooked on their Urban Detox (even though it's main marketing is a hangover cure) and it's prickly pear goodness.

The only bad thing about the festival was that on Friday night I started getting sick. On Saturday I felt like CRAP and on Sunday I only felt minimally better.

I stayed home on Monday and Tuesday and felt really bad because I knew how many things I had to do that would rollover to today. And when I started the day, I had 215 to-dos. My normal day is 30-45. YIKES!

Try my hardest, but I only got down to 179 today, and tomorrow adds another 30. It's going to be a long long couple of weeks.

So, in other news, my birthday is a month from today! It's kind of depressing that I'll be 25...I feel really old and unaccomplished and nowhere close to where I'd like to be personally.

I brought a lot of debt into mine and Ryan's marriage and feel so responsible for getting out of it...easier said than done....I found this article on MSN today and I'm going to pose the challenge to Ryan for us to start living like poor college students. That means getting rid of our DVR service and our extra channels...goodbye SciFi Channel :(

With Ryan's car engine having to be completely replaced (setting us back another $3k) and the prospect of Ryan being in school for the next four years, it's definitely something to do...if it means waiting a few more years for kids (I really really hope not).

Other than that, nothing new. It's been a whirlwind weekend and I'm looking forward to a slower Friday/Saturday/Sunday this week.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Working on Human Rights Day

My bosses have decided that Martin Luther King, Jr. day is a good tradeoff for Pioneer day, when it comes to giving us the day off.

Because the rest of the country is out of the office, my job as a sales associate is somewhat difficult on days like this.

So to occupy my time, my coworker and I started IMing each other about cartoons of yesteryear and the horrible graphics of cartoons nowadays. Our kids will be exposed to these works of art, not the stuff being peddled today.

In honor of such greatness, I present one of my faves...Lambert, the Sheepish Lion.

Lambert, the Sheepish Lion

Others, which I should start looking for now, include the Silly Symphonies (the one with Water Babies).

Never heard of it? That's a shame. I am nice and found it for your viewing enjoyment.

Walt Disney's MerBabies

What great fun.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Time passes quickly; gone before we know it

Tonight I've been left home another night, while my husband dutifully works late into the evening. Sometimes I worry he's burning his wick at both ends, only frustrating himself and alienating his dreams of school psychology even further. His work is so often draining, yet redeemingly fulfilling at the same time. So many of the youth he manages have dealt with and seen tragedies not often imagined to be a part of life. The extremity of their situations is sobering. Children being 'sold' for the night by their drug-addicted mother needing a fix. Another, physically abused young man who ran away from home at an early age, so early that he lived on the streets for 2 years before coming to Heritage. At the age of 12. I don't wonder why my dear husband wrestles with so many demons and stresses from work. I admire his strength, endurance and dedication to bettering these boys, giving them self-worth, empowering them to change their course in life.

I'm overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings tonight. I was reading a blog I stumbled upon and the raw sincerity of the author, an expectant father, immediately turned my silent tears into heaving sobs. I only hope one day I'm able to have the same excitement and expectations of being a parent, holding a life in my hands, being the caretaker of another soul. Ryan will be a wonderful dad, something I've seen over and over in his interactions with my youngest brothers-in-law and our adorable niece and nephew. I worry that I'm too impatient, too high-strung, too overbearing.
Often I'll lie in bed, day dream at work, wait for a red light to turn green, and different scenarios play out in my mind. Never happy, always tragic. Does this mean I am a pessimist? No. But I think I imagine the worst that can/will happen, and think of my reaction. How will I carry on if something happens to my sweet husband, or if I get into a car accident, or one of my sisters. A few years ago, my mom was struggling and mentioned she was depressed to the point of no return. There's always a return. As she was talking to me on the phone I tried to hide my fear. Thinking of losing my mom (for as often as I criticize or swear I won't be like her) is enough to prompt red eyes and mascara running. The light turns green, or my desk phone rings, or my husband calls, saying he's on his way home, and all is well. Why do I do this to myself?

It makes me thankful for all the blessings I have in my life. I have a wonderful husband, who, bless his heart, is still learning how to put up with my mood swings but drives all the way to my office to give me a hug because I've called him saying I need one. We need more of him in the world.

I probably should do some sort of holiday update, but really, it was quiet. In-laws (mine) went to Disneyland. Parents were in AZ with the rest of the family. Ryan worked Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I lounged around in my red-with-white-snowflake pajamas and watched far too many episodes of Designed to Sell and Flip That House. I looked forward to heading back to the office for the 8 (okay, really it's closer to 8:20) to 5 job.

Now that it's gone, I wonder where the time went. Ryan and I have been married for the better part of a year now. I still like looking at Martha Stewart Wedding and now I guess I can plan for sisters, sisters-in-law, and daughters in time. It will be here before I know it...