{I bought a cake for my pity party for one}Ryan was out of town for my birthday this year.
It was really hard.
I am having a hard time aging 'gracefully' and accepting that time actually does
pass even though you will it to stand still. At least until I'm ready.
What seems to be the most difficult is our lack of children. I know Ryan only wants to have 3-4 kids {which is hilarious since he's the oldest of NINE} but I just think we should worry about the first. I think Heavenly Father will let us know when our family is complete. And it doesn't feel complete yet.
So, Ryan being gone, me turning 29, and no kids in the near future = depressing birthday for Chelsea.
I know, boo-hoo, pity party for me. That's why I bought the cake.
But it really was one of those days that I was feeling so sorry for myself, I even had a talk with myself to snap out of it but it just didn't work!
So, I thought I'd make a list of all the blessings I DO have to be thankful for.
My 'gifts,' if you will:
My handsome family. Ryan, my sweet and superb Ginger, {why do American red-heads hate being called Gingers? I'm pretty sure it's just American Gingers. Ryan hates it. I love it. It's my birthday so I win.} and our cute lil pup.
My extended family. My sisters are some of my bestest friends, both by birth and by marriage, and I have such hilarious and strong brothers. My parents are all.so.great. Ryan and I are BOTH very grateful we don't have completely insane in-laws. I just wish we lived closer.
My warm and comfortable house. I'm in such a great town, with a beautiful little house that keeps me sheltered, and sheltered in luxury, and I know I'm truly lucky to be a homeowner, especially with me being unemployed and married to a doctoral student. There are so few of our acquaintances that own their homes that I know I'm extremely blessed in this regard. It really is a comfort knowing we can do whatever we'd like to our home and it's OURS. Renting had its time in my life and I'm glad to be done with it.
My generous and awesome friends. I have so many wonderful people in my life that have shown kindness and strength by examples to me and kindness to me or my husband. We have undoubtedly surrounded ourselves with the greatest people we could imagine.
My craftiness. I'm going to toot my own horn. I'm pretty resourceful and craft-oriented when it comes to life. I love seeking out good deals and hunting down bargains {there's an old old door on the curb down the street and I've resisted it for 4 days already; if it's still there in the next hour, I'm going to grab it and paint it and save it for a special project} and I love that people will call me to find good deals for them. Seriously, I have people call me.
My homemaking skills. I'm counting this separately from craftiness because a glue gun does not a meal make. I bake and cook for others more often than I cook for Ryan and I. It's too difficult cooking for the two of us, especially when one doesn't like most leftovers. So, I invite others over to share our meal. I know it's a little silly and possibly vain, but I thrive on validation. You can ask Ryan about that. He tells it another way. I'm glad I had a mother who forced us to cook for the family one night a week and for my dad who ALWAYS looked at the food ads and shopped for the best deals. I had a roommate in college who commented on the fact that I actually took the time to look at what was on sale for the week and plan my grocery list around that. Mostly it was because I was such a poor money-manager that I HAD to. But I remember my parents poring over the food ads and it's just what you do, you know?
And last, but not least {I'm just getting tired of typing because I'm trying to listen to Antiques Roadshow, too} my testimony. I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true and I know that our Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. He has one especially for ME. How awesome is that to know my prayers are heard and my wishes are counted. To me, it's everything. One of the best things about moving to a new city is having insta-friends through the Church. Sure, it's easy to get lost in the shuffle, but if you put yourself out there {which, believe me, was TOTALLY out of my comfort zone} you'll get anything back tenfold. I've made friends tenfold. My testimony of the goodness of people and the light of Christ through others has increased tenfold because of our experiences since Ryan started school here. Away from our families, orphaned in the middle of the country, we feel anything but. Heavenly Father has taken care of my physical, spiritual, and emotional needs, and for that, I'm eternally thankful.
So, what I thought was a horrible way to start a horrible year of being 29 and barren? isn't so bad after all.
It was really hard.
I am having a hard time aging 'gracefully' and accepting that time actually does
pass even though you will it to stand still. At least until I'm ready.
What seems to be the most difficult is our lack of children. I know Ryan only wants to have 3-4 kids {which is hilarious since he's the oldest of NINE} but I just think we should worry about the first. I think Heavenly Father will let us know when our family is complete. And it doesn't feel complete yet.
So, Ryan being gone, me turning 29, and no kids in the near future = depressing birthday for Chelsea.
I know, boo-hoo, pity party for me. That's why I bought the cake.
But it really was one of those days that I was feeling so sorry for myself, I even had a talk with myself to snap out of it but it just didn't work!
So, I thought I'd make a list of all the blessings I DO have to be thankful for.
My 'gifts,' if you will:
My handsome family. Ryan, my sweet and superb Ginger, {why do American red-heads hate being called Gingers? I'm pretty sure it's just American Gingers. Ryan hates it. I love it. It's my birthday so I win.} and our cute lil pup.
My extended family. My sisters are some of my bestest friends, both by birth and by marriage, and I have such hilarious and strong brothers. My parents are all.so.great. Ryan and I are BOTH very grateful we don't have completely insane in-laws. I just wish we lived closer.
My warm and comfortable house. I'm in such a great town, with a beautiful little house that keeps me sheltered, and sheltered in luxury, and I know I'm truly lucky to be a homeowner, especially with me being unemployed and married to a doctoral student. There are so few of our acquaintances that own their homes that I know I'm extremely blessed in this regard. It really is a comfort knowing we can do whatever we'd like to our home and it's OURS. Renting had its time in my life and I'm glad to be done with it.
My generous and awesome friends. I have so many wonderful people in my life that have shown kindness and strength by examples to me and kindness to me or my husband. We have undoubtedly surrounded ourselves with the greatest people we could imagine.
My craftiness. I'm going to toot my own horn. I'm pretty resourceful and craft-oriented when it comes to life. I love seeking out good deals and hunting down bargains {there's an old old door on the curb down the street and I've resisted it for 4 days already; if it's still there in the next hour, I'm going to grab it and paint it and save it for a special project} and I love that people will call me to find good deals for them. Seriously, I have people call me.
My homemaking skills. I'm counting this separately from craftiness because a glue gun does not a meal make. I bake and cook for others more often than I cook for Ryan and I. It's too difficult cooking for the two of us, especially when one doesn't like most leftovers. So, I invite others over to share our meal. I know it's a little silly and possibly vain, but I thrive on validation. You can ask Ryan about that. He tells it another way. I'm glad I had a mother who forced us to cook for the family one night a week and for my dad who ALWAYS looked at the food ads and shopped for the best deals. I had a roommate in college who commented on the fact that I actually took the time to look at what was on sale for the week and plan my grocery list around that. Mostly it was because I was such a poor money-manager that I HAD to. But I remember my parents poring over the food ads and it's just what you do, you know?
And last, but not least {I'm just getting tired of typing because I'm trying to listen to Antiques Roadshow, too} my testimony. I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true and I know that our Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. He has one especially for ME. How awesome is that to know my prayers are heard and my wishes are counted. To me, it's everything. One of the best things about moving to a new city is having insta-friends through the Church. Sure, it's easy to get lost in the shuffle, but if you put yourself out there {which, believe me, was TOTALLY out of my comfort zone} you'll get anything back tenfold. I've made friends tenfold. My testimony of the goodness of people and the light of Christ through others has increased tenfold because of our experiences since Ryan started school here. Away from our families, orphaned in the middle of the country, we feel anything but. Heavenly Father has taken care of my physical, spiritual, and emotional needs, and for that, I'm eternally thankful.
So, what I thought was a horrible way to start a horrible year of being 29 and barren? isn't so bad after all.
Besides, Ryan brought me chocolate from Ghirardelli Square. He gets some points back. If he's gone next year on my birthday...well...all deals are off.
{and it was delightful!}
{and it was delightful!}
6 comments:
well happy birthday, anyway! even if you DID have a pity party! sorry it was so crummy :(
i'll never understand why loving, wonderful people can have a hard time having children, while the crazies and crackheads seem to pop them out with too much ease...
only knowing you through the 'blogosphere', i think you're amazing and i KNOW heavenly father will bless you with a little one!
p.s. LOVE 'antiques roadshow'!!!! my husband thinks i'm such a granny!
Chelsea, I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am to have YOU around!!!!! I love you and I hope you have many more wonderful birthdays!!!!
I missed your birthday, how terrible am I? I'm glad that you bought that cute cake, because you deserve it!! If I was there I'd make a cake for you, and try with all my creative might to throw you a party like the gorgeous ones that you throw for everyone else:) You are such a wonderful lady:) Happy belated birthday!
Chels. I know that I have told you before, but seeing as you thrive on validation, I just want you to know that you are one of my favourite people in the entire world. Seriously. It amazes me how comfortable we were with each other pretty much instantly. I am so glad to know you and I am forever being more and more impressed by your sheer awesomeness. :D *hugs*
I hope you had a decent birthday. I wish I could have been there to cheer you and help you see the wonderful person and friend you are to everyone (except desiree). I applaud your up attitude and writing your blessings. You have a lot to be grateful for, and even more people in your life that are grateful for you.
I should've come out.
I've gotten all choked up reading this post. I love you Chels! You're an awesome sister! You're beautiful & you're so smart & crafty & an okay cook. Just kidding :) Great cook. Someday you'll make a decent mom. Once you realize that my kids aren't brats & they're just normal kids & you loosen up cause I think you're going to be uptight at first. LOL Oh, & I was kidding - you'll be a great mom making us all sick with all your perfect homemade everything.
Thanks also for sharing your testimony.
Love you!
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